Paul Knightly has asked every girl in his High School to The Prom and has been turned down by every single one of them. In a last ditch effort to not have to roll to the event “stag” he desperately serenades Diane Steinstein [president of the Youth in Government Club] to convince her that although he is dispassionate about her emotionally, the template of prom and the mechanics of the event itself should create enough paper banner and punch bowl romance that they’ll both have a good time. Since she has no “rep” to speak of, she should feel safe with him and maybe they can makeout a little, in order to have a good story to tell their friends’ children one day.

SIMPLE PLEASURES has now come up with a fantastic new product called “BUTTER GAS.” Finally there is a way to enjoy butter, or rather the essence of butter without having to fully ingest it, thusly submitting your body to the negative health effects of it. Take time for butter…gas, that is!

Corporate regional manager Richard Gunter terrorizes his office staff with his brutally productive zeal until he finally heightens his rage to a degree that transports him to an “early man” era in which he saves his secretary from a beast in the forest by killing it in battle and then donning its bloody skin fur. Only by joining the beasts of the wood, does he realize his true humanity.